Monday, August 02, 2004

I believe in love, hope, honesty, and integrity. And those are the things I value in other people.
I believe in feeling things fully and allowing others that same luxury.
I believe that people are just people, and they do the best they can. I hope people afford me that same leeway.
I am happy. I have been gifted with such a life. I don't know which cosmic lottery I won, but I try to spread joy where I can, to help even things out.
Turning points in my life? Getting married the first time. Getting divorced. Marrying Geoff. Having and losing a baby. Having and keeping a baby.
Sometimes I feel true scorn for certain people. I'm pretty sure my lesson this time around is acceptance. People are just people, and we all do the best we can.
Often I want to give away absolutely everything. Not to replace it -- sometimes it's just to *give*, and sometimes it's just *not to have*. And those are two different motivations. Geoff puts up with it, even when I give things away that he wasn't really done with yet. ;)
I go shopping virtually. I look at things online and in catalogs, and I think, "THAT would be neat to have!" And that's almost as good as having it and then getting rid of it again.
I want to be a stay-at-home mommy, and I feel guilty about this.
I do not miss the client I dismissed. I miss what his patronage could have represented, though.
I believe that everything works out in the end ... it just might not be the ending we would prefer. Related to that, everyone's story has a beginning and an ending, and when your story is done, the book keeps going.
I don't really hate people, even when I say I do. I'm not really all that menacing, and I'm not even a little bit dangerous.
I like to play Let's Pretend.
I have a very large sense of Personal Space -- both physical and emotional -- and I don't let very many people into mine. Trying to force your way in is the surest way to never be invited.
People exhaust me, in person.
I like the potential in blank slates. Geoff and I may never paint these walls, just because doing so would erase their emptiness.
I rarely worry about what people think of me. I like to be liked, but it always surprises me when people like me. Probably this is a hold-over from high school.
I have a tendency to tell people what I see. Honesty can be gentle. I have lost friends -- or at least become less close with them -- because no matter how gentle the honesty, it's more than they're interested in. I haven't figured out yet if it's better to keep quiet than to risk the friendship. Maybe that's part of the lesson too.