Thursday, January 27, 2005


What They Never Tell You, Chapter 71.5

You'll never have time to do laundry again. In fact, not only will you never do laundry again (except in dire emergencies, late at night -- note posting time -- while the baby sleeps, however briefly*), but you'll run in circles saying to your spouse, "Didn't she have a pair of pants? I know she must have a pair of pants!"

And let's just avoid discussing the socks, shall we? Because no matter how many pairs of socks you buy the child, she'll never have a single complete pair.

*And if she does sleep through the night, rest assured you won't, because your spouse will choose that night to resume a snoring habit that would make the 50-year old maple in your backyard tremble in Jungian fear.